Heading Back Home.

Mom, I’m heading back home.

Let me pack my bags and head home tomorrow. I hope you’ll be waiting for me in front of the arrival gate. Let me bring you some flowers and hug you sweet since it’s been too long that I’ve been apart from you.

Oh I know, I’m just the spoiled last child of yours who has just been apart for three months, remembering the last time I’ve went home was on March. But still, you know, things still hard out here without you around.

So Mom, I’m heading back home tomorrow.

Let me tell you stories of all the things this land has taught me already. Let me make you proud with my degree, let alone the whole world know that I’ve done my best to make you proud.

Believe me, Mom, the months I spent away from home were always the hardest.

I know, I used to want to run away from home, make a living by myself, try new things, experience things I haven’t yet experienced before, and enjoy life as the way it is.

The first few months were the toughest, I know. I’ve cried and cried since I can’t bare the thought of home I’ve left behind. But you soothed me down and told me it was the decision I’ve made so I shouldn’t have regretted it so much like that. And Mom, believe me when I told you that you have always given me strength because then you really just did your job as the greatest mother.

It’s been a year since the first time I left home that day. So many things happened and God knows I’ve grown so much I hope it makes you proud of me. I have learnt my lessons here and I feel amazing to have the chance to actually learn things not from you. Don’t get me wrong, Mom. You are amazing, it’s just that it’s pretty impressive how I can actually do stuff without your help. Look at how far this little spoiled last child of yours has become.

Mom, you have always been the greatest mother any child can have and I’m so thankful for that. You have always been the greatest role model anyone can have and I’m so proud to tell the whole world that you’ve been one for me all along.

Mom, I know you’ve been through a lot. You’ve raised three children of yours without the figure of a husband. I know how you’ve always missed dad so much I became so ignorant for your grief. But Mom, I also felt lost without dad. And when he passed, I know somehow you tried your best to stay strong for all of us. But Mom, we knew all along how it broke your heart the most rather than us.

My my, Dad would’ve been the proudest husband if he was still here. He would’ve wanted to hug you tight and kiss you tenderly because that’s what you deserve, Mom. And yes, no one should ever hurt you. No one. Because the last thing you deserve in this world is to get hurt. And Mom, I am so damn ready to protect you from harm.

Mom, I’m heading back home tomorrow.

Let me have some me time off alone tonight for this land has give me so much to offer with. Let me grief for a bit before I go back home and be happy again. I guess it’s just a cycle after all—how it’s always a downhill for me when it comes to semester break.

Believe me, Mom, I’m always happy about the thought of heading back home. It’s just that, this land has given me so much that sometimes it feels as if this land doesn’t want me to leave. This land is the second thing I called home after you. Because Mom, this land has taught me so much it gave me things I have never yet tried out before.

Mom, I’m heading back home tomorrow and I hope the later when you see me you’ll spread me a smile I’ve always loved to see.

You’re getting older each day, Mom. But my my, you’re always getting younger by heart to me. You may grow wrinkles on your face but as you get older, you also get wiser. And God knows how that turns you into the purest of all.

Mom, I know this is nothing but just a random note from the girl who has loved you since she was a womb old.

But Mom, this little girl of yours is heading back home tomorrow.

And she cannot wait to see your face again and hug you and make you proud because Mom, she’s only heading back home because you are the truest home for her. I love you with all my entire beings and I hope I let you know that enough.

 

 

 

Sincerely,
Your spoiled last child.

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Jimbaran, June 13th 2017.
Being away from home always teach me new lessons each time. Either it’s about finding who I truly am or searching for the meaning of life and home. For anyone out there, if you’re reading this I hope you let the people you love know that you love them enough you won’t regret not saying it at all. Because God knows how we tend to treasure things only when we’ve lost it already. So please, let them know that today 🙂 x

 

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